After the Storm
Suzanne Elizabeth Anderson
Mom sailed through the hurricane with her usual optimism and
strength. Like many of her neighbors, the worst part of the storm came
afterwards when electricity outages and horrid heat and humidity sent her out
of her home and blessedly into the home of a friend who still had electricity
and air conditioning.
During the days of the storm, my anxiety level was
understandably high and I prayed for her safety throughout the day. I spoke to
Mom more than once a day and wished that I was with her. In the days since
things have begun to return to normal with Mom’s busy friendships taking up
much of her time.
The distance between us stretches back to where it was
before. We miss each other dearly, but our lives have returned to where they
were. After the storm, I discovered that I felt lonely. There was a space in
heart that had previously been filled by our constant conversations during the
storm. This image, like an ocean ebbing and rising, reminds me of how a relationship
with God can feel at times.
During our personal storms, we may be called out of the boat
to walk on the waters of faith toward Jesus’ outstretched hand just as Peter
was called out in faith. In these moments, our experience of God’s presence can
be the closest we’ve ever felt. We not only feel him near, holding us above the
waves, but understand what it is to be loved by him.
Afterwards, we return to the mundane familiarity of our
lives. But what of the spiritual intimacy we felt during the storm? Often, like
the storm surge that settles back into the unnoticed gentle tidal ebb and flow,
our relationship with God may recede in our mind to the point that his presence
feels distant, only because during the storm he felt so close.
If there is any consolation during this fallow period it is
to recognize that we are in very good company. Throughout the Psalms we see
this remarkable interplay between a soul’s wrenching cry for God and then a few
verses later, a confident statement of God’s faithful provision.
We see this clearly in the 77th Psalm. The
psalmist wonders in the seventh verse if God will ever answer the psalmist’s
laments. He lays out his evidence of the ways in which God has forgotten him:
“Will the Lord reject forever
and never again show favor?
8 Has his faithful love ceased forever?
Is his promise at an end for all generations?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”Selah
and never again show favor?
8 Has his faithful love ceased forever?
Is his promise at an end for all generations?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”Selah
Then in the eleventh verse, there is a radical change.
As if a memory has suddenly been recalled, the psalmist remembers that God has
never forsaken him. God has always been true to his word and steadfast in his
provision:
“11 I will remember the Lord’s works;
yes, I will remember your ancient wonders.
12 I will reflect on all you have done
and meditate on your actions.”
This pattern of lamentation and confidence is found
throughout the Psalms. I believe it is God revealing a very common pattern in
our walk of faith. We draw close to God in times of emergency and then as our
lives fall back to normal, our thoughts of God wane, until he seems to recede.
But of course, God has not changed. It is we who have
allowed ourselves to drift away from God’s presence. However, I don’t believe
this is all without merit.
Think for a moment about the waves of rings that flow
outwards from a drop of water. The further the rings travel from the source,
the further apart and less force they carry as their energy disperses. On the
other hand, the rings closest to the source are full of energy and the space
between the rings is shorter as the energy has less distance to travel.
I believe our relationship with God is similar. When we
recognize the calm after the storm leaving us with a sense of longing and
loneliness, rather than allow ourselves to drift further from God, we should
immediately turn toward God. This is the time when we need to do something to
remind ourselves of God’s faithfulness and love, just as the psalmist does.
This is the time when I know I need to go to Adoration on a
Thursday evening at St. Mary’s and sit in silent prayer before the Blessed
Sacrament for an hour. This act of sitting in God’s presence always brings me
back to my center.
You might find yourself spiritually replenished through
prayer at home, meditation, reading the Bible, saying the rosary, or serving others
in the community for an hour. I’ve found that reading the psalms is very
comforting and allows me to see that I am not alone. Music is also helpful.
I’ve begun listening to a sung version of the Divine Mercy Chaplet on YouTube,
while my mother enjoys listening to traditional gospel music in her home.
After the storm, it is natural that we allow the stress we’ve
experience to dissipate and to find our new normal. During this time, I hope we
will not allow ourselves to drift too far from shore. To fool ourselves into
believing that God has abandoned us. Rest, yes. But rest in God’s holy and
healing presence. Allow the intimacy we experienced during the storm to become
the new watermark, the place from which we will move closer to God from this
point forward. In this way, our life becomes a journey to greater intimacy with
God.
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