Happiness is a Choice
Happiness is a Choice
Suzanne Elizabeth Anderson
Mom and I speak by phone every day. Because we speak with
such frequency, our conversations often take up a topic and carry it forward
over a course of days or weeks. Lately we’ve been taking about the need to make
gratitude a daily part of our lives, even when we face disappointment. Or when
something we’d hoped for, doesn’t meet our expectations.
I am particularly susceptible to setting unreasonable
standards and then wallowing in disappointment when my reach falls short of my
goal. I blame this on two things: 1) my competitive nature, which served me
well when I was a competitive swimmer, and 2) my overactive imagination, which
is a wonderful trait for a writer, but also leads me to conjure unrealistic
solutions to most problems.
The drawback of this mindset is that no matter what I
attain, it will never be as wonderful as the fictional scenario I’ve imagined
in my mind. Which leaves me in a constant state of yearning rather than
contentment. A friend once described me in this state as a drunken sailor
veering from what I have, to what I believe would be better.
This came up most recently as I moved into my new rental. It
is perfect in size and location for me. With each passing day, I appreciate it more.
Yet! When I first moved in, I made excuses to myself and friends about what I
wish were different, while simultaneously extolling its advantages. I am a
drunken sailor.
Which is probably why gratitude has been a recurring theme
in conversations with Mom. I’ve made a pact that from now, I will focus on the
glass half full, I will make gratitude a daily part of my life. If I choose to
complain, I will also find the positive. I will keep doing this until the optimistic
view becomes my default mindset.
I truly believe that happiness is a choice. Not in a Pollyannaish,
blinders to the bad, way. But as a moment by moment, breath by breath, choice.
Even in the worst circumstances, I believe that if we seek the best in
ourselves and others, we gain happiness, and the courage to overcome difficult
times.
This hypothesis led me to thinking about God and the purpose
of free will. We rarely talk about free will and why God might have blessed us
with this gift of independence. After all, not only does free will enable us to
choose how we live our lives, it also means that we can and often do actively
choose to reject our Creator.
Why would God give us free will if it meant we could
actively reject him?
Imagine the parent that watches its beloved child begin the
rudimentary progress of learning to walk. At first, the child stumbles arms
outstretched and the loving parent obliges by taking the child’s hand. However,
if the child is to mature and become independent, it must walk on its own. The
loving parent must withhold the helping hand and watch as the child falls and
cries and tries again and again until it masters the simple forward gait.
Similarly, in the beginning of our walk with God, we
experience the easy joy of God’s loving presence. But then God withdraws just a
step or two beyond our recognition. He is of course still there, always
omnipresent, but like the child we reach for his hand and find it out of reach.
And then we begin to stumble forward on our own, feeling alone and bereft.
But of course, we are not. Our watchful Heavenly Father is
just there, a step away, waiting for us to come forward. Just as the child must
overcome his fear, to mature and become an adult, we must overcome our sense of
isolation to grow into spiritual adulthood.
Which leads me full circle to where I began. Happiness is a
choice. So is a relationship with God. As we choose happiness moment by moment,
so too we must choose to pursue our relationship with God each day, anew.
That is the gift of free will. God leaves it up to us to
decide. Not once a week on Sunday, but every minute of each day God asks, “Will
you choose me?”
Will a relationship with God be a choice we pursue each day?
Because we have free will, the choice is entirely ours.
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